June 9th

Waking up in a very reflective and introspective mood this morning, I got ready for the day slowly and thoughtfully. It was a pleasant surprise to see Lauren at the bus stop (it cheered me up to be waiting for the bus with someone I knew!); we quietly waited for the bus, Lauren with headphones in ear and me with my bible, reading a devotional on the serenity prayer. Good prayer. Only a few minutes later we were both greeted by a lady, around 35 years old; she acted like we were her long lost friends saying “I’m gonna drop allllll charges, yep.” She was talking about her husband. After getting on the bus, she continued to tell each person on the bus about how she is going to court and planning to drop “allllll charges” on her husband. Maybe it was because of my mood at the time but I just got sad and starting questioning in my journal, “Why do people do what they do? How does our mind make choices? What is going through her mind, what’s happening in her life? Would it be beneficial to drop charges?” I felt a deep concern for her, maybe I can help her make a good decision…but I felt helpless. It was then that I realized I felt helpless because I was too weak to reach out to everyone who needed someone to care for them, someone to care about their well-being, someone to love them. Then I felt God turning my thoughts to Him and how He works for the good of everyone who loves Him.

I arrived at The City Mission with thought of longing for heaven, “this world is so confusing, filled with ‘not-happy-stuff.’” I was reminded of reflection from the night previous, we shared our fears…this morning solidified a fear of mine, “I am afraid that I will not be useful, I am afraid that I will not make a positive difference with this life.”

Today is the day I lead devotional for the second time,” Lord please prepare me, speak though me and use me.” I entered the room to start to rearrange the seats from row order to a circle; conducive to discussion and not focused on the speaker (makes me kind of nervous). My mind was still buzzing with, what it seemed, millions of thoughts, and then thoughts upon my thoughts, analyzing whether or not my thoughts were beneficial to me. Music was playing, gospel. There was one gentleman in the room, we introduced ourselves. Clifton, volunteer at The City Mission, “I really love this song, do you mind if I stay to listen to it?” “Oh please do, stay.” It was a good song, Clifton has good taste. “God is always with us” something like that, I don’t remember the lyrics but it certainly encouraged my spirit.

The ladies started to flood in, first 5 or 6 then 2 more, 4 more. I asked them to sit in the circle after they got a coffee. One gal sat, to my surprise, right next to me (how encouraging, someone wants to sit next to the “teacher” ::smiles::) She had big sunglasses on, holding her coffee cup to her lips, “man! It is freezing in here!” this was followed by a few other women who agreed that the air was turned on. I looked over at her taking a sip of her steaming coffee and said, “Isn’t it amazing that you can be bundled up and still be cold, but if you drink something warm, it makes all the difference? Changes are more effective from the inside out.” Woah, that’s a cool thought, thanks God. ^_^

We talked about Abigail for our devotional. “If there is a relationship in your life that is destructive, do not become hopeless. There is hope in the Lord, in His ultimate wisdom and comfort. Abigail saved her family from King David’s plan to murder because of her husband’s foolish decisions. God can help.” I then opened up the time for the ladies to share; one woman shared of her life: she was in many abusive relationships, her mom has just died one month ago, and the domestic shelters will not help her; she was bitter and trying to be independent. I encouraged her to see one of the case managers who can listen to her story in detail and help her anyway they can.

Then came the time to open the Quiet Waters Clothing room to the ladies; all of them were very excited. While registering the ladies and bagging their clothes I found out the gal who sat next to me is going through rehab for alcohol abuse, 93 days sober. She was praising God for it! How encouraging, thank you Lord for your good works! You are always working!

Mary is one of the oldest volunteers at The City Mission (TCM), she is 80 some years young and always has something wonderful to say, filled with wisdom and love. I got to make her laugh when I started dancing around with another volunteer, Scarlet. Scarlet is great, she inspires me to learn sign language so that I can communicate with her, she loves it when I make funny faces at her. What a blessed time together as we all worked to reorganize the clothing room.

I was already late for our staff meeting; Janet (my supervisor) was leading it. She taught us about how to chew on God’s word…just like a cow eats, chews and rechews (I guess that’s not a word) grass for nutrients. She encouraged us to really read, chew on, allow God to bring to our minds His word/what He wants to teach us. How cool and refreshing! We read Acts 4:8-14

“Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: "Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is
'the stone you builders rejected,
which has become the capstone.’
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say.”

What I learned:-the importance of relying on the Holy Spirit to say the right things and not to say the wrong things-how cool is it to be able to “see/notice” when someone has been spending time with Jesus-one of the employees said in reference to Romans 12:1-2 “your hear ‘praise God!’ all the time…shut your mouth and live it!” -Sometimes we complicate the gospel-remember the assurance of heaven, we have hope, we know exactly where we are going

This is what I do at work! Yes!

Off to lunch! (I finally gave Claire the 52 weeks list)

Once a month TCM has a staff luncheon, yum! I had strawberry pie for the very first time. Found out Hosea Anderson is working with the kids at the Pathways ministry! How sweet! Bless his heart for those kids!

(I’m going running soon and really want to finish at least one day of blogness)…here’s my favorite way of writing…LISTS!
- All staff meeting: we sang 3 hymns, talked an hour about benefits and life insurance
- Went back to work on the “Volunteer Case Manager’s Guide to career training and planning” or something like that
- Waited for the bus, when I entered in I heard a young girl crying. Her mother, who did not look any order than me, kept on yelling at her to stop with such a loaded angry voice. Her daughter didn’t stop crying. A minute passed. I turned to the little girl, seated two rows behind me, and I started making funny faces at her and playing peek-a-boo. It only took a few funky faces for her stop crying. She gave me a tiny tiny smile. ^_^ I think I want to work with kids.
- I caught the 51X bus today! YES! I am a professional RTA rider!
- Met a grandma who has many foster grandchildren.
- Helped Lauren prepare dinner…Latkes…Lexi’s recipe!
- Julie Bishop came over for dinner.
- Now…running with Sam!
Thanks for reading! :^_^